Tip Jar

Here’s the spot where I can impart all my worldly wisdom, or just put my favorite drinks if I can’t think of anything good.

Best One Liners

I don’t know the origin of some of these, but they’re classics nonetheless:

“You can’t make this shit up”

“righty-tighty lefty-loosey”

“Excuses are like assholes…everybody’s got one”. My high school softball coach.

“Why don’t we get drunk…and screw”. Jimmy Buffett

“In it to win it”…unknown but it’s a good one for anyone competitive.

“If you’re going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair”. Bumper sticker, fitting for those tailgaters that ride your bumper, and not the fun tailgaters at Vandal football games.

“Winner Winner Chicken Dinner”, A.S.

“Who’s your Daddy”. Unknown who started this one.

These two one liners are courtesy of one of ‘the girls’, H. Love ya sista!

“Fat looks better tan”. and “I’d rather be chubby and pretty than skinny and ugly”.

Past Drinks o’the Month

December: Bailey’s Minty Mistletoe

2 ounce(s) Baileys Irish Cream, 1/4 ounce(s) Rumple Minze (peppermint schnapps). Add Baileys Irish Cream and Rumple Minze. Shake with ice and strain into martini glass. If you really want to be festive, garnish with a mini candy cane.

November: Sangria

Cut up some fruit – lemon, lime, orange, apple (granny smiths are good), pineapple, whatever you’ve got. Place in a pitcher and pour in 3/4 cup brandy. Chill a bottle (750 ml) red wine, (burgundy works well), 1 can lemon-lime soda and 1 cup orange juice. Mix all ingredients when chilled and add more brandy and OJ to taste.

September & October: Red Beer.

This is a staple from the college days, but still good for football season, a hangover or just something a little different. Just add tomato juice to a beer and you’ve got it. Some prefer Clamato or V-8. Don’t dismiss completely, I don’t like TJ plain either. This is a great hangover cure or if you need a little extra Vitamin C. Plus, it’s good for you.

August

Champagne Punch. All this wedding talk made me think of a great recipe.
In a punchbowl w/ice: mix 2 cans frozen strawberry daiquiri mix, about a liter of 7-up, sprite or club soda (diet works too) and pour in a bottle or two of the bubbly. Don’t add the champagne until your guests arrive so it gets that sparkly fizz. You can even throw in some frozen strawberries for effect.

July

The Arnold Palmer. Perfect for a hot summer day, no golf required. Shot of Vodka (I prefer Smirnoff Citrus) with equal parts of iced tea and lemonade, lots of ice. This is even good sans vodka. My local espresso shack had it as the special; the gal was surprised when I didn’t ask what was in it – I was the first one that already knew. Big surprise.

June

The Bone Daddy Margarita. Personally I like 1800 tequila. Mix a hearty shot with some Bone Daddy margarita mix on the rocks and enjoy! Even better, add a lime wedge.