NoHostBar

And the Father of the Year Award Goes to…

nohostbar — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 22:18:57 +0000

According to a press release by the Washington State Patrol, a trooper pulled over a vehicle for driving erratically and weaving. Turns out the driver was a 13-year old, whose father had had too much to drink so he turned the keys over to Jr. Too bad the kid didn’t actually know how to drive, if he was a a licensed driver it could have at least been a good case against drunk driving.

Courtesy of FreeFoto.com

Read the full release below…

13-Year-Old Driver Stopped in SeaTac

King County — Erratic braking and an equipment violation led a trooper to stop a vehicle driven by a 13-year-old SeaTac boy.

On June 5, 2011, just before 12p.m., a silver Lincoln was traveling east on S. 166th Street in SeaTac in an erratic fashion. The trooper observed the vehicle had a broken windshield and the driver was very youthful in appearance. As the vehicle traveled, the trooper noted the driver was “violently stomping the brakes” and not using his lane properly. The trooper contacted the vehicle and it quickly became apparent that the passenger, a 40 year old SeaTac man, was the intoxicated father of the 13-year-old driver.

The passenger was booked in King County jail for investigation of Reckless Endangerment and Allowing an Unauthorized Person to Drive. The driver faces no charges and was released to his mother.

WSP Press Release, 06.08.11

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/theblotter/2015254351_13-year-old_driver_stopped_in.html

Weiner Scandal – A Headline Writers’ Dream

nohostbar — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 03:31:04 +0000

Seriously…is the Representative Weiner sex-text lewd and salacious scandal a headliner writers’ dream? Is it just me or does it seem like people don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. Are we so desensitized now that cybertexting coast to coast is no big deal?? I’m by no means a prude, but come on, if you want to get nasty with people you don’t know, use Chatroulette. At least you can delete your browser history…

I’m still looking for funny headlines, but here are a few that pop up (pun intended):

Weiner won’t pull out
‘I’ before ‘E’ except after WE SEE YOU NAKED
Cockblocked by Twitter
Even Trump thinks Weiner is a dick
Weiner’s Big Political Dreams Die Hard

I’m not on Twitter, but this is the funniest one I’ve seen, ” BrentLaLonde Weiner apologizes for “junk” mail. #weinerheadlines

Watch Jon Stewart on Huffington Post

Is Being Simple A Compliment?

nohostbar — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 04:22:37 +0000

Really, my life is pretty simple. I go to work, spend time with my baby girl and the rest is secondary. I’d love to cut out one of those priorities, but someone’s gotta pay the bills and it’s not the State.

I was having lunch with one of my best guy pals the other day and was talking about someone and I mentioned that she was just ‘simple’. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, just as an explanation. There’s nothing wrong with simple, but sometimes when you are talking with people and there’s nothing more to talk about than the weather or your one common interest, that’s just about as far as the relationship goes.

So my friend says, you know, I want to be THAT PERSON, how nice not to have any worries or have your mind cluttered with things like current events, or other philosophical discussion.

Not a bad concept. After all, there are books and magazines named after being simple, you don’t see any magazines named ‘Excess Baggage’ or ‘Real Complicated’…

Very Seth Godin-ish

nohostbar — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 03:48:48 +0000

I love Seth Godin’s blog. His blogs always make me think. For example, the other day he wrote about how we can waste so much time (I’m totally paraphrasing and probably incorrectly) while we are trying to create something, because we use the same device (or computer) for work and play. He challenges readers to use a separate electronic device for work and play, like your laptop for work and i-phone for gaming or Facebook.

I love this challenge. I almost made it one day with using my work computer for work. Make that about an hour, but I did manage to only use Facebook sparingly on my work computer. One year I gave up Facebook for Lent even though I’m not Catholic. It was a really good excuse to totally blow people off and in the name of religion.

Which reminds me, I had the best blog idea the other night as I was laying in bed ready to fall asleep. It was so ‘Seth Godin-ish’, I even remember thinking, wow this is SO good!

And do you think I jotted down even a hint or phrase?

NO…And I promptly fell asleep and don’t remember what it was about or anything. But I still know it was a good one. I’m hoping it comes back subconsciously because it was that good. Or at least I’m pretty sure it was.

Meaning is Relative

nohostbar — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 02:41:59 +0000

Saw this headline:

“Libya bombing declared a success”

USA Today Photo

Success according to who? Depends on who you ask…

Welcome to my Boring Life

nohostbar — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 05:00:43 +0000

Well it just dawned on me that I am officially boring. I had dinner tonight with two of my single girlfriends and have realized that ‘I got nothing’. I could talk all day about what SJ is up to or doing, but when it comes to me, there’s nothing to talk about. Now, if I had time to date, maybe we’d have a little dating story, but as a single parent, who has time?

ICE Cleaning Service

nohostbar — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 05:14:32 +0000

ICE. Not Vanilla ICE, not cold dry cleaners, but ICE , as in, In Case of Emergency. Did you know that if you have ICE contacts programmed into your cell phone, the fire department or police department will look for those to find out who to contact in case of an emergency?

So I recently had a friend die very sudden and waaaaay too young. It’s awful in itself, but it really makes you reflect. Like, do you have a will? What about custody arrangements for single parents? What about that secret bail money hidden somewhere – who knows about that? Most importantly, what about your personal ‘things’…do you have a ‘cleaner’ friend lined up to go to your house and clean out all condoms, vibrators, dirty magazines, or anything that would be awkward if your mother was going through your belongings?

I’ve got a will, custody arrangements, plans for the ‘bail money’ BUT not the most important, vibrator ‘cleaners’. I’m on it…note to self, get spare house key made so BF can make the emergency run as needed.

Note to headline writer

nohostbar — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:41:41 +0000

Might want to rethink this headline:

Murray gives VA head earful over compensation for caregivers

I’m not in the gutter all the time, just most of it…

World’s Largest Pile Driver

nohostbar — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 05:09:09 +0000

This headline caught my eye for one thing. Hey, I haven’t had a date in a while and my mind is in the gutter. And for those of you that are like-minded, to set the record straight, a pile driver is a piece of heavy equipment. I can’t exactly describe what it does, but basically it uses a crane to drive deep into solid surfaces, like mines or something like that.

Then it goes on to mention to name of the worlds largest pile driver, the Octakong. This thing is HUGE! Check out their website at APE Workwear. What’s funnier is when you Google it, OctaBong comes up, which is a Beer Bong website.

Am I the only one that anything with the words Pile Driver and Kong thinks this belongs on a sex toy website?

Coloring Pages.com

What now? Palin V. Griffin

nohostbar — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 04:31:19 +0000

Are you kidding me? Sarah Palin is taking on Kathy Griffin? Apparently Ms. Palin doesn’t know what ‘biting sarcasm’ means. Ok, so Kathy made a few jokes about the Palin clan. She’s a COMEDIAN, that’s what she does.

Dear Palin, don’t go away mad, just go away…it’s getting old.

Fox News