What’s your 20?

Do you ever remember the old cop shows when they’re on the radio and the dispatcher says ‘what’s your twenty’? Meaning, what’s your location? I used to date a cop so was used to hearing that all the time.

Well, I learned a new phrase today. 420 friendly. I’d never heard this one before but was reading the Craig’s List personals and saw this expression, with a description about getting together, hooking up and having a smoke. OK, I wasn’t born yesterday, so figure 420 must be like the police code for busting someone with pot.

I was wrong, but in the right neighborhood. Thanks to Google, 420 friendly is for people who are into smoking pot, or don’t mind if people get high. Well I guess you might as well get it out of the way, no point of wasting any time. They could say ‘cheech seeking chong’ and it would probably mean the same thing.

The interesting thing is, what if someone was advertising for a little NSA 420 hook up and an undercover cop showed up? I suppose they couldn’t bust you for the sex part, but for they could for possession.

You know, I just learn something new every day, it never ceases to amazes me what people come up with.

Gossip Girl

Don’t you hate it when someone tells you a juicy piece of gossip and then says, ‘but don’t tell anyone’. Oh, so it’s OK if they spill the beans that someone told them, probably with the same disclaimer of not telling anyone, but then they expect you not to say anything.

Sometimes you find out something so good and then have no one to tell, it’s like you just wish you knew someone that knew the parties involved so you could dish some scoop. I’m not big on speculative gossip, it’s just hurtful, especially if it’s not true, but it’s different if it’s true.

Just recently I heard some tidbits that blew me away, we’re talking married people cheating with married people, people getting fired, restraining orders, lots of drama – but then don’t have anyone to share it with because it’s different circles of friends. And by the way, in case you were wondering, these are like three different groups of people. I could tell you the details, but it’s just not the same if you don’t know them.

Here’s an old joke for you – how do Christians gossip? Prayer requests. Can’t you just hear it, ‘Dear Lord, please pray for Jane Doe, who is fooling around on her husband with her friend’s dad.’ What do you pray, that they don’t get caught? Don’t catch an STD? Get caught in the act?

I used to hear some really good stuff when I worked for city government and was friends with the guys in the police department. They’d totally catch two people hooking up that shouldn’t have been in an orchard, parking lot, or see some married guy’s car at his girlfriends house. Busted.

In case you’re a Gossip Girl fan (I’m hooked on this show), XOXO.

BordersTown

What is it with people that go to bookstores and just hang out and read? I don’t know why, but this just drives me nuts. It would be like going to Macy’s, trying a pair of boots on, wearing them around the whole store and then telling the clerk you don’t want them. In the meantime, you’ve got your germs all over, possibly scuffed them, and made them look worn.

This is the year for books for Christmas presents, I’ve got no inspiration or time to try and find the ultimate original gift, so I’m going with books.

As much as I love books, libraries and bookstores, I almost dread going to Borders anymore. There’s all these people lurking about, just kicking back in an easy chair reading. I’m thinking, don’t you people have freaking homes, why would you go read in a store compared to the comfort of your own home, how enjoyable is that?

If you don’t want to buy reading material, go to the library – hello, it’s free and you’ve got an unlimited resource. Except if your dog chews up a book, no kidding, I had to buy a book earlier this year because my dog dragged it outside and chewed the cover off.

I think I remember reading some dating advice that said bookstores are a great place to meet people. Maybe that’s why people just linger about, I guess it’s better than a singles bar. I don’t know, I still don’t get it.

Money can’t buy rhythm

You know how sometimes you think money can buy everything? It can buy love, stuff, fun, nice clothes friends – not the kind of love or friends that I think I want, but some people are into that. I know this one gal that says you should marry the first time for money and the second for love. I’m not sure about that philosophy, but I’d like both the next time around.

News flash, money can’t buy rhythm. One of my service clubs had our big Christmas program today – this group is huge, we’re talking 300+ members – so the events are a pretty big deal. I’m not in with the ‘popular’ crowd, so usually just keep a low profile.

So there’s this totally rich gal in town, we’re talking the who’s who. She’s got the house on the one street that all the wealthy people live and the whole lifestyles of the rich & famous house.

Part of the program was a band and choir (made up of members), which was actually impressive. BUT, for all the $$ this lady’s got, she could not move to the beat. I mean it was like watching a middle schooler do the side -to -side shuffle, kind of like step aerobics without the step. This was before the days that kids ‘grind’ or whatever they call it.

So for all of my broke-ness right now, I’ve at least got some dance moves. I might not have a lot of cashola, but I can shake my booty when its called for. Not like when I do the ‘Elaine’ dance, which seems to entertain a lot of folks, but I had to stop doing it because I think people thought I actually danced like that.

New Chain Letter

To all my friends who send me best ‘wishes’, chain letters, ‘angel’ letters or other promises of good luck.

NONE OF THAT SHIT IS WORKING!

Could you please just send:

Money, Alcohol, Hot Guys or Gasoline Vouchers?

Thank You.

Match Angel

The key to setting people up is to find people that may have things in common so they at least have something to talk about when they first meet. I’ve recently made a new friend who has taken it upon himself to find me a man. My match angel (MA) said he’s got a pretty good track record of matchmaking – he set up two couples who are now married.

This guy is really funny, he’s an older gentleman, married and on the board of a service club I just joined. We talked at a new member event and really hit it off, ever since then, he’s kind of like an unofficial mentor and I think he feels a little sorry for me since I don’t have much family here and am fairly new to living in town. We go out to lunch about once a month, and now he is on a mission to match me up with.

I’ll have to admit though, MA’s got good taste. I get an email last month saying that he’s just heard of a break up and that there’s a new bachelor on the market – he’s tall, good looking and a bank manager – and he wants to know if he should talk to him about asking me out. We decide to hold off since I’ll be seeing said bachelor at an event and will see how things go there. He showed up with a date that looked a lot older and pretty rough, so I wonder about his judgment. MA saw him at another event this week and he was still with her, so we think he’s the kind of guy that can’t be alone and always has to have a girlfriend.

Two weeks ago I was at another holiday event and MA tracks me down and says, I think I found one! Do you know So & So? I do know SS – he’s hot, and a financial advisor. MA says he told SS what I was wearing so he can scope me out.

I’m telling you, MA is relentless, he takes it one step further, freaking calls the guy to see if he’ll be attending a young professionals meeting next week (that I’ll be at too) and asks if he’s interested in meeting me. Then MA tells me at our club meeting that my assignment at the function is to go up to SS and introduce myself and say I understand we have a friend in common. It feels like we are on a covert spy operation.

This could be interesting. I’m wondering if I should just call him and see if he wants to meet for coffee, I’m not sure I can take the pressure. I guess after a couple of drinks I’ll get the nerve up. I’ll keep you posted…

Miser Brothers

The classic Christmas shows are the best.  I’m watching my most favorite (and only favorite) Christmas show of all time, A Year Without a Santa. I love this show because of the Heat Miser and the Cold Miser. I know all the words to the Heat Miser song. I can really identify with the Heat Miser because I love it when it’s warm and summer, the hotter the better. I’m seriously cold blooded, if I didn’t have family and friends here, I would live in Arizona in a heartbeat.

Well it looks like I’m not the only one that likes the Miser brothers. After all these years of this show playing, the Family Channel is coming out with a new Christmas show, The Miser Brothers. I can’t catch the debut Saturday, but I’m sure it will be on again. I also love how the animation is done with these clay-mation type characters.

Speaking of Heat Misers, my dad is now snowbirding in Arizona and having the time of his life. He called me the other day to tell me that he actually had to put long pants on since it had dropped below 80 degrees. He goes to Mexico about twice a week just to have Tequila and lunch.

I’m going to visit in February, I can’t wait. I’ve checked the spring training schedule and it turns out the day I’m traveling is the day that players need to report to baseball camp. Maybe I’ll have a long layover with a baseball player…

Call in Gay Day

Have you seen this latest grass-roots effort to protest against California’s decision to repeal the legitimacy of the proposition in favor of gay marriage? Today is an unofficial ‘call in gay day’, kind of the reverse of a sit-in, more like a sit-out.

It’s where they are trying to make a statement that if everyone that was gay didn’t spend any money the economy would suffer, or to show how vital gay and lesbians are to commerce and business, basically to make people think about it what the world would be like without the gay and lesbian community. So not to stereotype, but I would imagine that San Francisco was pretty quiet today.

I really don’t have much of an opinion on this one. I’ve got a lot of gay and lesbian friends and don’t care if they get married or not, I say why shouldn’t they suffer through a divorce as much as the rest of us?

The whole funny thought of mine today was, what if there was some super macho hetero-homophobic guy that got food poisoning or the flu and had to call in sick today? Wouldn’t that be hilarious – then he goes back to work tomorrow and is like, hey I was really sick. Yeah, right buddy, hey it’s OK if you’re a closet homosexual, whatever floats your boat…

Blast from the Past

Turns out Facebook is a great way to connect. It’s a pretty cool tool, it automatically matches you up with people you may know based on where you live, what groups you join or where you went to school. One nice thing about Facebook vs. MySpace is that in order for someone to view your page, they have to be ‘friends’, and you approve or deny all friend requests. Now on the flip side, if you want to check out a hottie that FB says you might know, you have to be friends, which you don’t want them to know you are looking, so there is that down side.

When I first signed up, it flashed a bunch of people I went to college with, so I sent requests to a few sorority sisters, other friends, some high school buddies and this one guy that was one of our hashers at the DG house. He accepted my ‘friend’ request, OK, so no big deal, so did a bunch of other people.

I’m at work today and my boss is in my office, my co-worker tells me I’ve got a phone call and says the guys name – no shit, it’s this guy calling me at work.

He didn’t want to leave a voice mail, so the next thing I know, I get a email from him to my work email address. What’s weird is that he had to have looked up my work website to get the phone number and my email. I think that’s a little odd. So I answer his generic what are you up to email, he emails me back again. Then I get a phone call – and it’s him. Now I think it’s really strange. We weren’t that good of friends. I don’t remember much about him, but I think he was the one that when we had Chinese food would swap out the fortune cookie fortunes with nasty fortunes (all except the head table).

I had to take another call so we didn’t chat much, but he did mention something about being obsessed with Facebook and not having much of a life. You think? Dude, step away from the computer. Maybe I should tell some of his e-friends he needs an intervention…

Social Media Overload

I finally broke down and joined Facebook – it’s pretty cool, but now I’m totally overloaded with all this social media stuff. I’m trying to keep up my blog, Facebook, my Blackberry, text messaging, a work website, then all this other crap – LinkedIn, Classmates.Com, Alumni information, not to mention all these passwords and store membership numbers. I rented some movies the other night and couldn’t remember my phone number (I use my old disconnected number for a lot of things, just so I don’t get any calls).

I can’t believe I’m even considering getting an I-Pod for my Christmas-to-self present. Sometimes I really wish I had a teenager. On second thought, maybe I can borrow one to show me how to download some I-tunes.