My Special Day

Well my special day has come and gone. NHB is feeling a bit under the weather, I’m wondering if my two 12 hour drinking shifts over the weekend had something to do with me getting run down and catching a little cold. My two drinking buddies took me out to dinner for my birthday (they took my picture in a tiara) – it was very low key but a great day. Another guy bud is taking me out to lunch tomorrow. AND I got a ton of phone calls, text messages and emails – thanks girls – love you guys!

So I was driving over to the mall earlier in the day to see if I could find myself a birthday present to self. I stop at this intersection and see this transient with his backpack doing some panhandling. I hate it when they do that, I try not to make eye contact. This guy is stumbling around and trying to get his pack on – it seriously looks like he’s drunk, except then he reaches for a cane and starts hobbling away. I pause for a moment, then the thought hits me…YAY, it’s my freaking birthday! What am I going to buy myself??? I suppose I really should have said a prayer for him or something, but all I could think about was that it was my special day and I deserved a treat to self.

Well I made a pit stop at Value Village to look for my Caribou Barbie Halloween costume inspiration and I found it. You will not believe it. You’ll have to wait til after tomorrow, because I’m not giving this surprise up…let’s just say it’s going to be original. No suit wearing, baby packing, gun toting stereotype for this Palin look-a-like. I think I outdid myself on this one.

I’ll tell you this next year is going to be a good one. Not only did I get lucky and find a lucky penny to kick off my birthday week, but I stopped at a Chinese joint for some soup on the way home and my fortune cookie fortune says, ‘You will be successful in love’ – add the obligatory ‘in bed’ on the end and ding, ding, ding – we have a winner. It’s a good sign.

Happy Freaking Birthday

Well tomorrow’s the big day. I was thinking that I’d skip my birthday again this year because if you skip it and no one remembers it’s not as big of a deal as if you look forward to it and then no one celebrates…then it’s just a big let down. Drawbacks of a small family. I almost sent myself flowers today, but realized that would be pathetic.

Thank God for my friends, they pulled through this year big time! My long distance college girlfriends have allowed me to stretch it out for two weekends now, and my guy drinking buddies are taking me out to dinner tomorrow night.

So even though being single on major holidays and birthdays totally sucks, it’s better than being in a bad relationship and at least I have good friends that I’m totally thankful for. I still don’t have plans for Halloween, which you know is my most favorite holiday and this is the first year in forever that I haven’t got a costume or plans, but oh well.

Game Day Recap

Here’s the hook…I made out with a cheerleader. I’ll give you the scoop, but first the background.

You may recall that I met up with some of my college pals for University of Idaho Homecoming weekend. Otherwise known as two days of pulling 12-hour drinking shifts. Gawd…I totally need to dry out my liver. I still have a hangover. You’d think I’d learn – I swear I forget that I’m not in college anymore – only to be sorely reminded since I feel like I got run over by a mack truck.

It was great – got to see my college girlfriends and their spouses, did some tailgating in the student section (OK, we are getting a little old for that, but hey, the parking is free and this cougar loves the eye candy) and to top it off, we won the game. It was a nailbiter down to the end. Good thing some of us missed almost the whole second half because we were too busy tailgating – we showed up with 1:30 left in the game – but it was the best part of the second half.

We went out to dinner then dropped our cars off at our NoTell MOtel so we could walk to the tav – turns out it was a little farther than we thought, so at least we got some exercise in. The night before we had gone to another local joint – I ended up playing pool with a coke snorting local, thanks to my friends for volunteering that I’d be the guys partner. No shit, one minute the guy was fine, the next he was sneezing out white stuff and stumbling all over the place. Up until he was loaded, we were doing pretty good, I was making shots like I was on the pro circuit.

So anyways, here’s how I ended up smooching the cheerleader. I guess the proper term isn’t ‘make out’ (I think it’s something like hooking up, tonsil hockey, or tonsil inspection), not sure what it is now. Whatever they say in People magazine or E! online. Hooking up can imply a lot. Sorry guys, this isn’t some girls-gone-wild, girl-on-girl shit, HE was a male cheerleader.

We walk down to the Club and it’s wall to wall people, we were almost the oldest ones there again (someday we’ll learn, but again, it’s nice to have some young bucks to check out). We find a corner of a table and there’s this young hottie sitting there, so we start talking about the world series. He’s talking, blah-blah-blah, architect, something something, was a vandal cheerleader. He told me his age, but I can’t remember, there’s a few years age difference, but he thought I was 32, you know age is relative. All I can think of is that he looks like Lofa Tutupa (Seattle Seahawks) and is smokin’ hot. I was impressed because when they sang the fight song at the bar, like 5 times, he knew all the words. So we end up chit chatting for a long time, one beer leads to another, then all the sudden we’re smooching like teenagers…at the bar – classy move, huh???

Well, ya’ll know I don’t kiss and tell, unless I don’t think I’ll ever see the guy again. So you get nothing – we did exchange emails and he got my number, so we’ll see what happens. I’ll be back in a couple of weeks. You know, a three hour drive isn’t that far to hang out with some saucy former cheer-ster. I’ll keep you posted. I told you homecoming doesn’t get much better – it was that lucky penny I found. I knew it would be a good weekend.

Weekend Update

It’s college homecoming weekend. Who says you can’t go home again? There is just nothing quite like college homecoming – beer, tailgating, meeting up with the college pals, more beer, life doesn’t get much better than this.

Since I’ll be off the air until Sunday afternoon, I’ll give you a preview of what my weekend might be like.

• Friday afternoon, arrive at the ol’ alma mater, University of Idaho in Moscow, Idaho.
• Visit the bar I worked drank my way through college, ‘The Plant’ for old times sake and a red beer. It used to be your typical pre-function tav with pool tables, beer pong, juke box, popcorn and cheap beer. Now it has hard liquor, but is still popular with the college crowd.
• Check into the MO-tel, The Hillcrest Motel. I’ve even reserved the same room I stayed in last time, the number will have to remain confidential to prevent all my stalker readers from finding me, but on second thought, maybe I should include it. (Let’s just say it’s a lucky number). This is pretty much a No-tell motel, not the 5 star luxury, but good enough if you’re only going to be in the room for one thing. And sleeping too. Plus, it’s a five minute walk to the bar that everyone ends up at i.e. prime cougar hunting grounds for NHB.
• Meet college pals for drinks & dinner.
• Possibly take in some alumni function after dinner, but probably start bar-hopping.
• We’ll end up at ‘The Club’, this is the kind of place with $2 tubs of Rainier and it will be wall-to-wall people. The college students think you’re a high roller if you drink bottled beer. I’ll be looking for some fresh faced college kid to give the night of his life with a cougar. Kidding, of course…I’ve graduated to checking out the coaches and team doctor (who is a hottie).
• Party like rock stars and then stumble up the hill to the Mo-tel.
• Get up in the a.m. Check out the motel’s continental breakfast – coffee, donuts and boiled eggs. Not kidding. Thinking I’ll skip the boiled eggs.
• Hit the parking lot for tailgating and drink, rinse, repeat. Bloody Mary’s are a certainty, might as well keep that buzz going. Best way to head off a hangover, just keep drinking. Trust me. The hair o’the dog and a greasy Zip’s cheeseburger have scientific merit and years of testing.
• More of the Same-O, Same-O except we’ll watch a football game in there somewhere too.

Man, I can’t wait to get the hell out of dodge. Maybe I’ll run into that little college hottie with the trucker hat I saw last time I was there. Although I found out that the Phi Delts are having a big reunion, got to love that. The cool thing about that is one of my best ever guy friends is a Phi Delt alum so I’m sure he’ll be there; he ended up with one of my sorority sisters ten+ years after we were in college together – small world huh???

Sorry for the hiatus, but I’m totally due for a sabbatical – even if it is two days, just enough time to get a TON of new material. Wish me luck and GO VANDALS!

Caribou Barbie

Last weekend I went up to visit my BF & her family, they ended up having a birthday dinner for me (thanks guys, love you!) and my ex boyfriend, whose birthday is the day before mine and mine is the 29th (which is probably why I’ve always loved Halloween). Dinner with my ex? Sounds weird but this is one of those exes that I’ve been able to stay friends with. We were in a long distance relationship for a year, didn’t have a bad break-up, it’s just that it’s difficult to sustain that kind of thing unless one person doesn’t mind driving 3 hours every weekend. Anyways, this isn’t about that, but I thought I’d throw it in there nonetheless.

We spent a lot of the time discussing the Halloween costume that I had sent up to my BF for her and her neighbor to use for their respective Bunko events. I love Halloween and have at least three storage bins of costumes. I don’t loan them out a lot (I loaned Rodeo Princess out last year and still haven’t got it back and now someone else wants to borrow it) but will make an exception for the BF. I typically start cruising the thrift shops the first part of October looking for inspiration or for something to add to my collection. Just to name a few I’ve got Foxy Grandma, Biker Babe (real chaps even), Fireman, Bartender, and I could go on and on. These aren’t store bought costumes either – they’re the real deal.

So do tell, what was the costume in question? The aging Hooter’s waitress. I had found a Hooter’s shirt and some perfect orange shorts at Value Village a few years ago. Her friend really embellished…made some butt padding, really long boobs with nipples that hung out underneath, and to top it off, had a fake wart made for her chin, complete with a hair sticking out of it. EWWWWW.. I wouldn’t have even had the nerve to do that. She was the hit of the party and won top prize, my BF has her party this weekend, so we’ll see how she does. (I’ll try to get some pics, they are sure to be hilarious).

This got us the topic of what my costume was going to be. I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to adequately research the thrift shops. I have a rule that I can only wear a costume more than once if it’s to a place where no one will recognize that I’ve worn it before. The BF’s husband thinks I should go with the obvious…Sarah Palin. I’m just not sure though since I think it’s going to be overdone, but he has a point, and kept reminding me that I actually look like her. I can’t decide, I’m not that big of a fan of her is probably why I’m hesitant.

However…now that I’ve been looking into the Sarah Palin Halloween costume idea – I found a website called Caribou Barbie and even a prototype of a Caribou Barbie doll, complete with snowmobile, hunting rifle and she’s sporting a suit. So we’ll see, I found an orange hunting vest, but it would be better if I could find a tacky 70’s vest with fur all over it. I don’t want to do the cliche’ look – it would have to be something more creative. Either way, unless I go incognito and don my gray wig, whatever costume I end up with wearing I’ll look like her anyways, especially if I wear my hair up.

If you’ve got any good Caribou Barbie suggestions, I’m totally open to it.

Open mouth, insert foot

Don’t you hate it when you totally stick your foot in your mouth?  I’m famous for speaking before I think, I’ve had some good ones.  None as good as my friend H who patted the tummy of someone she thought was pregnant and ask when the due date is, only to have gal inform her that she had already had the baby.  Oops!

I was stuck in this class all day yesterday. It’s a once a month deal, we had the overnight retreat last month.  These things are painful for me – it’s all that forced bonding and group hug bullshit that they want us to go through.  The instruction part is fine, but don’t make me try to like people, these things take time.

So I’m sitting next to this gal, she feels the same way I do and we were talking about our committee assignments.  She says, you know, I’m just not thrilled with my group.  I was like, I know, me either, I think it’s going to suck.  Then we looked at the list and realized we are on the same committee!  We were able to laugh it off, but I was glad I wasn’t the first one to make the comment.

Any other great stories out there of when you wished you could take something back after you said it?

Palin College Pics?

There’s been some speculation among us Idaho Vandals if Sarah Heath Palin was like some mystery college student or really attended. We know she did, but no one seems to remember her. These pictures came in via email from a friend of a friend, of a friend (and possibly one more friend, twice removed) whose wife was supposedly in Neely Hall the same time as Ms. Heath.

These cannot be confirmed, but while I was researching a possible Palin-type Halloween costume, I found the first picture included in an Associated Press article that said that her family provided this one. There’s no way to be sure, but I will say that we ALL had the same look in college. You think I look like her now, I really did in college – big hair and all. Neither one of us had glasses then.

So here you go, take them for what they’re worth -

We can’t confirm this is her either, but one of my sorority sisters did recognize another gal from this picture, so at least the photo is legit.

In your dreams

Have you ever read any of those dream interpretation books? You know the classics – you’re falling into space, naked in public, being chased, etc. Have you ever been having a good dream, woke up and then tried to re-enact the dream? This website DreamMoods has a huge list of almost any possible dream topic – cabinet, accordion, taxi, mascara, animals – I mean anything.

Here are some interpretations of my recent recurring dreams. Lately I’ve dreamt I was in a bar, then there’s the one where I’m packing for a trip and can’t find anything, or packing too much, or I dream I’m back in the sorority, but with college-aged kids and I’m at the age I am now.

Bar: To dream that you are at a bar, signifies your desire to escape from the stresses of your daily life and retreat into a light-hearted environment where pleasure abounds. Alternatively, you are seeking for acceptance in some aspect of your daily life.

College: To dream that you are in college, indicates that you are going through some social or cultural changes. You may be wanting to expand your knowledge and awareness. It also suggest that now is a good time for you to experiment and try new things.

Packing: To dream that you are packing, unpacking and packing and unpacking again, represents chaos in your life. You are having trouble juggling various components of your life. You are carrying around too many burdens but have trouble letting go some of these burdens. Consider what unfinished business you have to tend to. Try to resolve these issues so they can finally be put to rest.

Hmmm. Some of those hit a little close to home. But they’re all true in a way – I’ve been totally overwhelmed with moving, being completely busy at work, some health issues that remind me I’m not 25 anymore and having to start over with a new circle of friends, so it is reasonable that I would be under a little bit of stress.

The reason I got to looking this site up was that I had the funniest dream the other night. I was at a bar with a girlfriend and this hot guy was walking up to sit at the empty barstool next to me. All of the sudden, this short 50-something lady swoops in and takes the spot. I gave her a look, then I was like, hey, you know you just broke the sister code, help me out here. You are supposed to help out your fellow single women so you should move so that hot guy can sit by me. She wouldn’t budge so I think I ended up telling her off.

I really have no idea what that incident symbolizes, but it was funny anyways.

It’s not me, it’s you

Is there a nice, polite way to tell someone you’re just not interested? I’ve been doing research, asking my guy friends and reading blog after blog on this and it seems there an overwhelming consensus – guys would rather be told the truth, I’m not interested in dating YOU’, compared to some flimsy excuse like I’m sorry I didn’t return your ten calls, but I’ve been busy, or Let’s be friends or the cliche’, It’s not you, it’s me.

The reason behind this is that I find myself in this uncomfortable position of needing to tell a guy that I’m just not into him. This was the blind date that one of my guy buddies set me up with. Nice enough guy, but I don’t want to date him. Among the reasons, he reminds me way too much of my ex-husband.

He’s been calling and texting all week, so I’ve got to be prepared for if he calls again. The best line I found was in some message board – Thanks for the invitation, but I’m not interested in dating you. Period, end of story. Don’t put in some wishy washy excuse like, now is not a good time for me or I just want to be friends – that leaves the window open for later. Just rip it off like a band-aid and get it over quick.

I had this discussion before with one of my guy buddies. He explains it this way:

Guys are fairly simple and don’t take hints well. You need to be direct and firm, there is no way to avoid hurting his feelings. Don’t just blow him off because he won’t get the hint, or don’t leave any room for him to think he’s got a chance.

Sorry guys, but this was from a guy. It always reminds me of Dumb and Dumber – the gal was telling Jim Carrey’s character that she wouldn’t go out with him, I can’t remember exactly, but he asked if he had a one in a million chance and she waffled…so he was like, hey, I’ve got a chance.

I guess in thinking about this, it would be nice to get the truth, even if it is painful. How many times has a guy said, I’ll call you. Then you get nothing. It’s easy to play it off like he might have been weird or it was mutual, but face it gals, he just wasn’t into you.

Himbos & BroHos

Ohmygosh. I read the funniest article today, What’s With All the Himbos?. The author talked about all these male sluts actors in the news hooking up with the flavor of the week – Lance Armstrong, John Mayer, and the likes. He coins two new terms – the Himbo and BroHo, I think they are pretty self explanatory.

Brings to mind another term made popular by Lance Armstrong – the Bromance – referring to the oddly strange and inseparable relationship that he and Matthew McConaughy had going on for a while there.

“What’s with the Tour de Your Pants [Lance]? , comments the author, Peter Birkenhead. Look, I have nothing against a little good, clean ho-ing now and then. And everybody needs to be a bro once in a while. But bro-ing and ho-ing don’t mix.”

I guess it’s about time that the switch was flipped. For years it’s been perfectly acceptable for guys to sleep around and they are called ‘ladies men’ or ‘confirmed bachelors’, but if a woman does it she’s a slut, or tramp. Which reminds me, I got a sample of Paris Hilton perfume the other day, I didn’t know they could bottle skank.  What’s the difference between a slut and a whore?  About 50 bucks.

I’m all for equal rights.  Now if I could only figure out where to find one of these, I could go for a little himbo action…