Nobody likes a quitter

You need to eliminate caffeine and alcohol...Excuse me Doctor, I don’t think I heard you correctly, I thought you said eliminate caffeine and alcohol? Um, yeah, that’s right. Can you define eliminate? I’m sorry, but it’s not that easy. Try telling an obese person to stop eating.

So out of my three favorite things to indulge in – coffee, beer and sex – Dr. No is telling me I have to now completely stop two of them? Just kill me now. Well at least there’s still sex, which would be nice if I were having it. No wonder he didn’t mention that one, he could probably tell – Hmmm. Let’s see, no wedding ring, no emergency contact, oh yeah, she’s not getting any.

All right, I’ll try to cut back, but I’m not freaking going cold turkey, especially during PMS week! That is cruel and inhumane punishment for me, not to mention my co-workers. Dang, I should have told him I smoked, at least then I could have given that up when he banned that too.